Andrea's Antics: I may need a cigarette following my airport pat down

This just gets more disgusting with every report ...

Naples News: Andrea's Antics: I may need a cigarette following my airport pat down

So, she put on her latex gloves, like the gynecologist and proctologist. So right away I am thinking, "Uh oh!" She began to pat me up and down and all around, including my — as my prudish aunt used to call them — mammary glands. But it was when she asked me to step one foot forward that we changed from getting to know one another to dating.​

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Yup, she got private with my privates! Off on a bench putting his shoes back on, my husband watched the little affair. He didn't know whether to be jealous or be a hero and rescue me. So, he stood there with his mouth hanging open. Since I was wearing a dress which was now up to my thighs, I was regretting not taking the time in the shower that morning to shave my legs.​

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I said, "How do shy people react when you are doing this?" She said curtly, "Do you want a private room?" Well, I knew I was at a dangerous crossroads, my dear sweet readers. I could say, "Are you asking to marry me?" or "Isn't that illegal in all states but Nevada?" or "You are lovely but I prefer men — George Clooney in particular." But I knew this may not be funny to the very serious woman with her hands on the inside of my thighs. So I said, "No" and watched two women nervously hurrying to put on their little orthopedic shoes, before the security agent started dating them.​

 

This column seems to speak to how unaware the general public is of what goes on at the airport:

"I didn't know" is slowly becoming "OMG!"

 

One grope at a time.

 

Wondering if Rugape still maintains that there is no genital contact during a TSA Feel Down?

 

that particular line proved to be too difficult to peddle. especially when TSA clerks started popping off in public that it *was* part of the standard.