This just gets more disgusting with every report ... Naples News: Andrea's Antics: I may need a cigarette following my airport pat down So, she put on her latex gloves, like the gynecologist and proctologist. So right away I am thinking, "Uh oh!" She began to pat me up and down and all around, including my — as my prudish aunt used to call them — mammary glands. But it was when she asked me to step one foot forward that we changed from getting to know one another to dating.Yup, she got private with my privates! Off on a bench putting his shoes back on, my husband watched the little affair. He didn't know whether to be jealous or be a hero and rescue me. So, he stood there with his mouth hanging open. Since I was wearing a dress which was now up to my thighs, I was regretting not taking the time in the shower that morning to shave my legs.I said, "How do shy people react when you are doing this?" She said curtly, "Do you want a private room?" Well, I knew I was at a dangerous crossroads, my dear sweet readers. I could say, "Are you asking to marry me?" or "Isn't that illegal in all states but Nevada?" or "You are lovely but I prefer men — George Clooney in particular." But I knew this may not be funny to the very serious woman with her hands on the inside of my thighs. So I said, "No" and watched two women nervously hurrying to put on their little orthopedic shoes, before the security agent started dating them.