Flyer: Stop RAPE in Our Airports

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Mike, Jan 26, 2012.

  1. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

  2. Sunny Goth

    Sunny Goth Original Member Coach

    As for the text of the flyer...

    I'd get rid of the underlining for the definition and just bold the whole thing. The underlining looks a little busy.
    Instead of Congressmen and senators, I'd just say Congress
    I like the font - very easy to read
     
    KrazyKat likes this.
  3. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat Original Member

    stoprape^
    Yes, that was exactly what was thinking, two visual scales, and more interesting to not repeat.

    Graphic: What about a blue glove inside a prohibited/no symbol at the corners or screened back underneath?

    I was going to write a short letter to the Pauls /op-ed that can be one of the linked letters.
     
  4. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Okay, letter version 1 is ready.

    Before I forget, I was thinking: do we want to have 2 separate letters available, one for TSA rape victims and one "Just because it didn't happen to me doesn't mean it's acceptable, and I want it stopped NOW" version?

    Just a thought.

    Okay, here's the letter:

    The <<>> fields are for mail-merge functionality, which I decided to leave in should anyone wish to avail themselves of it. If you don't want it, just strip them out and replace them with plain old information.

    Okay, bring on the constructive criticism and let's get this bad boy ready for the big leagues.
     

    Attached Files:

  5. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    A couple of thoughts:

    -Based on this post, should I remove the section in the second-to-last paragraph regarding consent without knowledge?

    -Should we have two separate letters on this matter, one for "conscientious objectors" and one for victims of gropes that meet updated FBI rape standards?
     
  6. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Okay, I'm a writer and editor 'in real life' as it were, so I shortened it, made the language more straightforward and colloquial, and also went with American spellings. Although now that I look at it, it's still too long. Anyway:

     
  7. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Awesome, I love it. I'll update my local copy now.

    Since you kept it in your revision, I'm guessing we have one vote in favor of the "Cannot consent if you don't know" argument. Personally I'm in favor of it as well, as legal technicalities matter more in court than in correspondence with legislators (...right?) whereas legislators are more likely to respond to appeals to ethics (... ... ...*gulp* riiight?).
     
  8. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Leave it in. It's not up to us to behave as lawyers. We're concerned citizens. That's all that matters. Give them as much info and ammo as you can, and let them sort it out. It doesn't matter if Every Single Thing you include in a letter has been vetted by legal scholars, many of whom disagree with each other anyway. It's important just to plant that seed in their minds -- "how can we consent? what is consent?" etc.
     
  9. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Just made a couple of tiny tweaks to make it sound a little less repetitive:

     
  10. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Mike - I'm happy to E-mail this to our contact list once we're all agreed on a design and accompanying Congressional letter.

    All - Is my current revision of the letter good to go or should there be any more edits done? Also, what say we on the two-separate-letters issue: one for people who have actually been subjected to gropes meeting FBI's new rape standard, and one for those who haven't but are still mad-as-(expletive deleted)-and-not-gonna-take-it-anymore?
     
  11. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    I don't think you need two letters. If people have been abused, they can add their own story in their own words.
     
  12. Sunny Goth

    Sunny Goth Original Member Coach

    Yeah, I agree. If people want to add their own words, that would be great. Their words will be more powerful since it's their own story.
     
  13. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    One letter sounds good to me.

    Just noticing - the flyer on the first post still shows "Congressmen and Senators must..." Did we want to go ahead and change that to "Congresspeople/Congresspersons and Senators must..." or just "Congress must..."?
     
  14. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Also, at the end, I would take out "deplorable behavior," a term that always makes me think of blue-haired ladies clutching their pearls, and substitute "these assaults" instead. It also gets the point across more directly.
     
    Sunny Goth likes this.
  15. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Ask and ye shall receive.

     
  16. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    P.S. Everyone, please go over to the "Civil Rights" forum. You won't believe what's been happening on Capitol Hill.
     
  17. jtodd

    jtodd Original Member

    I agree, I think 1 letter is enough. People will naturally add their own bits as they want. I've already edited the 2nd revision and sent it to my congress critters yesterday. They'll get another of the final revision next week. :)
     
  18. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    That's my preference: KISS -- keep it silly whatever.

    One simple brochure, one simple letter.
     

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