Gonna need something to remember Herr Minister Pistole.

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Cartoon Peril, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    Seriously. Look at it this way. Levi Strauss invented Levis, somebody named Nelson invented, the full and the half Nelsons, and People's Commissar Chertoff invented the Chertoffomizer. They'll go down in history.

    But what about poor John Pistole? He deserves remembering too. I've got some ideas:

    * the half Pistole: TSO has one hand in the traveller's trousers or crotch.
    * the full Pistole: same as the half Pistole except simultaneously the TSO's other hand is in the traveller's carry-on feeling around for something to steal.
    * the full Monty Pistole: The view conveyed by the Chertoffomizer into the wiener screener booth. May be combined with the half, full, and full Monty Pistole.
    * The pedo-Pistole. The half or full Pistole done by a TSO on a child 13 or younger
    barbell, Lisa Simeone and Fisher1949 like this.
  2. I think something needs to be called "Pistole-whipped." Like, maybe the karate chop to the genitals.
    Lisa Simeone and KrazyKat like this.
  3. Fisher1949

    Fisher1949 Original Member Coach

    That's a great idea! I think we should use these in our story comments and try to work it into the vernacular. Example "the pat down was so intrusive that it the screener Pistoled my groin twice".

    Personally I'd prefer seeing "Pistole" associated with junk groping since this would be the most repugnant act to have one's name associated with but anything that demeans Pistole works for me. Since many of us actively comment on TSA stories we should be consistent so that others can pick up on the definition.
    barbell, Lisa Simeone and KrazyKat like this.
  4. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Love this!! All of it!!

    As a linguaphile (and occasionally insufferable schoolmarm), I love the neologisms. As an activist, I love giving Pistole what he deserves and getting it out into the public as much as possible. And as someone who loves to laugh, I love the humor of it all. Go, team!
  5. mikemey

    mikemey Original Member

    Herr Minister Pistole just makes me giggle like a 4 year old.
    Lisa Simeone and FetePerfection like this.
  6. barbell

    barbell Coach Coach

    This is a lot like Dan Savage's coining of the term Santorum (not for weak stomachs).

  7. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    So it is two syllables or three? Pis-tol'd or Pis-to-leed?

    Some good YouTube grope videos might be a way to introduce improved vocabulary. :)
  8. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Two syllables -- Pis-tol'd!
  9. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    It's hurt to be a Therion fan ever since Savage did that. Half the time I see "Beyond Sanctorum" in my iPod album list I do a double-take because I can't believe what I think I'm seeing.

    As for the coining of "Pistole" as a junk-groping verb, I think this is fantastic psychological warfare and we should absolutely pursue it. However, I'd think that the Full Pistole would be "One hand in the person's crotch and the other wrapping around the side, stabilizing the crotch for the crotch-hand." Like this:


    Unless they always do that.
  10. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Please review the policy regarding the posting of pictures here, and do not ever post that picture of the Mr. Gropavich at work at DEN. It's been the subject of dozens of Righthaven lawsuits.
  11. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    From your description, Mike, I know exactly which picture that is.
  12. mikemey

    mikemey Original Member

    I thought Righthaven was put in their place?
  13. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    They're still breathing.

    Since I am the one who would be sued, I will make any decisions at to what cannot be posted here.
    Cartoon Peril likes this.
  14. mikemey

    mikemey Original Member

    Oh trust me, I'm not calling that into question. :D
  15. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    ARGH! Sorry Mike, forgot about that. Lemme fix it with a link real quick...
  16. Fisher1949

    Fisher1949 Original Member Coach

    So I'm clear on this, Pistoled for the run of the mill junk groping and Full Pistole when extra vigor is put into the act. Right?
  17. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    Those guys are freakin' vampires. From Wikipedia:

    In April 2011, a federal judge unsealed the agreement between Righthaven and Stephens Media, revealing that Stephens media receives 50% of the proceeds of lawsuits (after deducting costs). In addition, an attorney for one of the defendants claims that the agreement provides only limited rights to the copyrights of Stephens Media, specifically, only the right to sue. Some defense attorneys argue that one must have complete ownership in order to have standing to sue, which may undermine the lawsuits related to the Review-Journal material. [14]

    On June 14, 2011, a federal court ruled that Righthaven has no standing to sue for copyright infringement, on the grounds that the original parties retain the actual copyrights, and that Righthaven failed to disclose their financial connections to Stephens Media.[15] Among other sanctions imposed by Federal District Court Judge Roger Hunt, Righthaven was fined US$5,000 for the misrepresentation.[16]
  18. 4nsicdoc

    4nsicdoc Original Member

    That's why some pistol[e]s are single action and some are double action.
    Lisa Simeone likes this.

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