Jewish Journal: The lady’s guide to the TSA

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Mike, Jul 16, 2012.

  1. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Jewish Journal: The lady’s guide to the TSA

    I’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately; almost every weekend for a while now and in addition to a terrible case of jet-lag I have picked up some tips on how to approach the complications of the TSA without sacrificing your dignity. With summer travels upon us, many of us are preparing to brace the security lines of airports around the world. Some of this advice would seem obvious but based on personal experience and anecdotal evidence, it seems that it still needs to be said. Perhaps if we all adhered to some simple Security Manners, our lines will move a little swifter.

    1. Sunglasses
    Don’t try to go through the metal detector with sunglasses on ...

    2. Clothes
    Be prepared to take it all off ...

    3. Toiletries
    If you’re carrying it on, these are coming out. There are no secrets when it comes to the TSA ...

    4. Never Flirt First, But Feel Free to Flirt Back If They Start It

    [I suppose it's ok if you don't mind "dating down". :D]

    5. Shoes
    ... And lastly, if you only have one pair of socks without holes in them, let this be the day you use them.

    6. Jewelry
    ... The girl in front of me went through. She beeped. She took off more layers. She beeped again. She got felt up. They made her lift up her top and expose the culprit: a belly chain. What are you doing wearing a belly chain under three layers of tops? ...

    7. Laptops

    8. If A TSA Agent Asks For Your Phone Number…
    Of course, you don’t have to give it. But you might want to let him down with deliberate gentleness.

    [See comment above regarding "dating down". :D]

    9. Be Polite
    I’m so sick of seeing people roll their eyes because TSA asked them to take off another layer of clothing or put a watch in a bin ...

    10. Differentiating Between Pick-Up Lines and Security Instructions

    [Once more, see above regarding "dating down". :D]

    Happy Flying!

    [Use to be, pre-TSA. :(]
  2. Frank

    Frank Original Member

    Dating down? I'd rather date a crack ho...
  3. FaustsAccountant

    FaustsAccountant Original Member

    I'd rather join a celibate religious order.
    Elizabeth Conley likes this.
  4. Linka4356

    Linka4356 Member

    I'm not sure if this is quite the right area for this particular post or not. Some of you may have already seen it, but an article was recently published on HuffPo by a woman for women on how to survive the TSA. I was horrified when I read it. She advocates that basically because TSOs are in a position of power to make you miss your flight or go through a bunch of extra hassle, women should laugh off their advances, let them down much more gently than they would any non-TSO, or, horror of all horrors, flirt back.

    Out of 10 survival tips, three of them have to deal with handling inappropriate flirtation by TSOs - and all of them advocate subjugating yourself to them so as not to make any more hassle for yourself. It is essentially the same thing as an article labeled "Career Advice for Women" and having a bullet point that says, "If your boss flirts with you, flirt back or joke it off because he is in a position to fire you if you don't cooperate." I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor.

    A very chilling quote from the article: "Even if it feels like just another guy asking for your number, he's still a member of the TSA and if he wants to, my guess is making you miss your flight is one of the nicer things he could do."
  5. Doober

    Doober Original Member

    I've seen it before but don't know if it was here or elsewhere. I read it two or three times thinking it was written as sarcasm before it finally dawned on me that she was serious.

    At least the author is getting a well-deserved slap down.
  6. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    It's in the TSA forum. I added a comment about "dating down" (way down!) to each of those three points.

    Granted that the people I hang out with (mostly engineers at the senior & principal level) are slightly more intelligent than average, but frankly I can't picture any woman I know succumbing to any advances from TSA's perverts.
    nachtnebel likes this.
  7. nachtnebel

    nachtnebel Original Member

    can't really take getting pursed lips and grunts from the exhibits at the primate zoo.
  8. Frank

    Frank Original Member

    I would compare Pedosmurfs to bonobos but that would be insulting to the bonobos.
  9. Fisher1949

    Fisher1949 Original Member Coach

    Using the word Lady is a stretch. I can think of some other words to describe this woman but they don't start with L.
  10. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Becky Akers @ LRC Blog: Gate-Rape Recruiting Revolutionaries!

    My patience with the propaganda and factual errors that are Huffington Post has waned to the point that I ignore whatever stories my various Google Alerts list from it. Said propaganda and errors are especially egregious when it comes to the TSA.

    But for Eli Cryderman, then, I would have missed this article. Which would have been all to the good: as Eli advised me, “Get your barf bag ready…” Indeed. Ready your own barf bag, because here’s a sample (emphasis original — and no, this is neither satire nor parody):

    Differentiating Between Pick-Up Lines and Security Instructions
    I know that sometimes it's hard to tell but here's how to differentiate between some of the more popular ones I've heard:
    Ma'am, you've set off the metal detector — no.
    When you walk through the metal detector, you make my heart beep — yes. …
    Shoes and Jackets off — no.
    You can take a lot more off if you prefer — probably yes.

    However, readers’ disgust with this sycophancy more than compensates!


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