Job Opporunity: Revise the SOP

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Affection, Apr 13, 2012.

  1. Affection

    Affection Original Member

  2. TravelnMedic

    TravelnMedic Original Member

    holy hand grenades
    no wonder none of the dolts has a effin clue to dang much to remember, that or its at a level beyond the average ASSes reading level. Given the current state of affairs probably need to dumb it down from 2nd grade to kindergartin level.
  3. nachtnebel

    nachtnebel Original Member

    What if your SOPs consist entirely of pictures. Like the icons on McDonald's cash registers. Why assume there is any reading level at all in the workforce. Just have to tell them and show them. Okay, rub the legs like so. Now run your hands up to the crotch like yea and flip your hand over to get a good feel of what's up in that area, looking for a soft feel, nothing that's not skin. Now rub the butt like so. now the chest, now the back.

    I'd suspect it's not terribly removed from See Spot run. Run Spot run!
    barbell and Doober like this.
  4. Fisher1949

    Fisher1949 Original Member Coach

    So if these are re-written and remain SSI will anyone ever see them?

    Basically a public admission that their screeners are morons.
  5. Doober

    Doober Original Member

    This is hysterical! I'm going to think about this and be snickering to myself all day. :)
    Sunny Goth likes this.
  6. RB

    RB Founding Member

    Isn't it telling that TSA has to go outside the agency to find someone who can read?
    Elizabeth Conley and barbell like this.
  7. Sunny Goth

    Sunny Goth Original Member Coach

    No kidding.

    (1) Assess the reading level grade in which SOPs language is written
    (2) To potentially convert existing SOP language into a pre-determined reading grade level

    What do you think? 8th grade, or is that too high? :p:p
    barbell likes this.
  8. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    They need to convert it to a postgraduate reading level. Seriously. Because:
    (1) Even if written on a 6th grade level, most smurfies will not be able to comprehend it anyway.
    (2) It will really impress the judges and jury members if the SOP is ever deemed discoverable.
    (3) If the constitutionality of the procedures are ever challenged successfully in court, the TSA can avoid prosecution by disavowing any knowledge of such becaise the SOP could not possibly be understood by any of the 60K TSA employees since none of them holds a postgraduate degree.
  9. Caradoc

    Caradoc Original Member

    Why do I suddenly have this mental picture of the SOP being "written" by the same people who do the IKEA assembly instruction manuals?
    Fisher1949 likes this.
  10. Fisher1949

    Fisher1949 Original Member Coach

    They provided the email address configuration they use. So with a name it should be possible to email anyone at TSA.

    It appears that the limit on name lengths is 13 characters. firstname.

    United States

    Primary Point of Contact.:

    Joseph Hatzipanagiotis,
    Contract Specialist
    Phone: 571-227-3160

    Secondary Point of Contact:

    Donna J Porter,
    Contracting Officer
    Phone: 571-227-5163
  11. Frank

    Frank Original Member

    That would actually be an improvement.
  12. Doober

    Doober Original Member

    I recall reading that if you want the majority of your readers to understand your writing, you should write to a 3rd grade level.
  13. Caradoc

    Caradoc Original Member

    No. An improvement would be every goddamned American saying, "Why, no, I'm not going to grope my fellow citizens. STFU and GFY."
    Lisa Simeone likes this.
  14. Elizabeth Conley

    Elizabeth Conley Original Member

    Ahh kin do it! Lemme see...

    "See Dick." "Rub Dick's pr... errr..."

    Nope, can't write that. Just wrong.

    Lemme try again:

    "See Jane." "See Jane's pain. Poke Jane's pain. Hear Jane sob. Grin. Jab again. Force Jane to gag. Make Jane show rag. See Jane blush. Get a rush."

    "Grab Dick's bag. Steal Dick's knife. Paw Dick's wife. Take Dick's cash. Snort Dick's stash. Mash Dick's snack. Talk smack."

    It's hard, but I think I qualify. What's the pay?
  15. nachtnebel

    nachtnebel Original Member

    You're hired!!

    But add this to your list:

    See Dick open Jane's bag
    See Dick steal Jane's i-Pad.
    Don't be a Dick.

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