So just who works as a TSA screener, and why do they do it? Can you break them down into groups? I think so. Here's my analysis, and of course some traits can intermingle. The Professional May have a military and or law enforcement background. They hired early on, answering a call of duty right after 9/11. They were the ones that said "Good morning, sir!" at the checkpoint on day one and truly meant it. Ten years later, their ranks are thinning. The ones that have remained, upon honest reflection, know they are in an agency rife with corruption, criminal activity, political grift, and useless theatre. The Walmart Greeter Older person supplementing their retirement income. Pleasant enough to deal with. Sometimes you feel bad when brushing them off, but these days you never know who is playing Behavior Detection voodoo practitioner. The Clock Puncher It's just a job to them, and who's to complain in this economy. They never expected to be the target of such public outrage, and they certainly didn't plan on doing same-sex gropes for a living. As soon as something better comes along, they are outta here. The Slacker Younger person with few marketable job skills. Boisterous conversations with coworkers about inane subjects such as video games or the new hottie working at the food is common, until they notice you glaring at them. Hopes to get on full time so they can move out of their mom's basement. (The lower strata of Clock Punchers and Slackers is where you find those screeners with criminal tendencies) The Gum Cracker Never got tickets to the Ricki Lake Show, but that doesn't mean the whole terminal isn't her own personal studio audience. "I tol' y'all to take them laptops out, I ain't gonna aks again!" The Whacker A peculiar subgroup that has a fascination with being associated with law enforcement, but lacks the skills needed for that career path. Urban Dictionary: Geeky person who longs to be a police officer or anyone of authority or importance. Usually has a car with antennas and lights with no authority to do anything. May have a police scanner hanging from his/her belt. The Whacker loves the TSA policeman's costume. They like to go "on patrol" on their on time, and flash their badge. Some have their ham radio license (or as they say, "I am a federally licensed Amatuer Radio Operator") for the sole purpose of being involved in ARES. You can learn more than you ever want to know about these guys at Hamsexy.com. The Gung-Ho Guy May exhibit some Whacker tendencies, but has bought in to the notion that they are on the the front lines of the Wah On Tewwow. Views the traveling public with open contempt, since civilians obviously have no idea screeners like themselves put their lives on the line every time they snap on a pair of blue rubber gloves. Does same-sex gropes with gusto. Secretly wishes for a personally signed 8x10 photo of John Pistole for the living room wall. So… right now we’re kind of lucky to have a range of employees to deal with. But the Professional’s ranks are thinning, the Walmart Greeters will retire to take up golf, the upper echelon of Clock Punchers will move on to other employment as the job market improves. The scary thing is what awaits us in the future when the economy improves, and the screeners ranks will be rife Slackers, Whackers, and Gung-Ho Guys.