I don't have any stories nearly as fun or funny, but I did have a surreal moment once when traveling for a scuba-diving trip. I bring my own gear, and always have trouble getting it past TSA because it includes fancy-looking electronics like a wrist-mounted computer, a regulator, SPG, oxygen analyzer, etc. They always want to pull it all out and FIDDLE with it, which pisses me off to no end because if they mess with the settings, it can really screw me up underwater (and that can, ya know, lead to DEATH!). So the last time I traveled with my gear, when the moronic TSO was pawing through my LIFE SUPPORT EQUIPMENT (cuz that is what it is), I kept giving him a running commentary full of made-up crap - "Oh that's my probing carchometer - it scans the water for sharks and sends out mild electrical shocks if any come within 50 yards. DON'T TOUCH THAT - that's my hemoglobin sensor, it senses my blood nitrox flush levels, and automatically changes my gas settings if I get too much carbon monoxide. That's a depthoxyegraph, which regulates the oxygen-loading of the surrounding water column." I was just making this sh*t up as I went along, coming up with whatever sounded most outrageous. He just kept nodding knowingly, as if he was quite well-acquainted with all of this high-tech stuff. Moron.