This year, I've outdone myself, and made the scariest costume I could think of: Does THIS look under 3.4 oz. to you?! Happy Halloween from STSO Jon!
your hands are not grasping the proper anatomical objects but that would be impossible unless you had a partner dressed as the gropee
Now, all you need is someone dressed up as a little old lady in a wheelchair, or a retired teacher with an ostomy bag, or a baby wearing diapers, and you are set for the full TSA experience! Keeping the Homeland safe from the scum of the universe!
Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, that's the most terrifying thing I've seen since the distorted face in the end of Inland Empire. So much for a good night's sleep...
Jon, you ought to go to the nearest airport and start giving passengers random squeezes of their private parts. Then you'd not only look like you were in the big leagues, you'd be acting like them...
Is it a crime to impersonate a TSO? Would they even have thought that anyone in his right mind would WANT to impersonate a TSO?
Jon, to be totally accurate you need to stuff about 3 king-size pillows under your shirt and in your pants.
Too skinny, hair's too neat, shirt's tucked in too well, and the tie is too neat. TSA employees are slobs in general.
You should carry an adult diaper around with you. If anyone asks what it is, tell them you forced a 95 year old lady to take it off at the airport.
lol... I actually do have a pillow under my shirt, but not 3. I'll add more padding for tonight. --Jon
I've been sticking to groping hot suspicious chicks in NYC bars. ...and confiscating people's beers if they are in a > 3.4 oz container. "We got a cute one for ya!" --Jon
