My recent TSA experiences

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by honeytoes, Sep 5, 2011.

  1. honeytoes

    honeytoes Founding Member

    I have not flown in months, so I have not had the "pleasure" of dealing with the TSAholes in a long time.

    I had two flights last week and I had my first opportunity to opt out of the Nude-o-scope in PHL. I was in the families and medical liquids line (BIG MISTAKE....soooooooo slooooowwww...) because I had two protein drinks that I had to take through with me. (I am unable to eat solid foods before noon, so I had to bring them along with me.)

    EVERYONE in my family line went through the NOS. I was disgusted that no one even questioned what the (expletive deleted) it was. I got to the front and when the TSO motioned me toward it, I said, "I opt out." I was then shuttled to the penalty box to the left of the NOS. It isn't really a box, but it is just an area about 18 inches wide that is roped off by those ribbon things. The TSO female on guard at the end of the penalty area asked me why I opted out and I said, "Because I can." She protested that it isn't an x-ray and when I asked her to explain what it was, I got nothing from her. She also said something to the effect of, "Well, if you opted out, why are you leaning against it?" I was not leaning on it. In fact, I was on tippy toes trying to keep an eye on my bags, which was exceedingly difficult since the NOS blocked everything. My stuff came through and I was taken to the mat for my exam/probe.

    What I am about to say is upsetting to me, but here goes: It was not as bad as I had thought it could have been. That is not to say that I approve of these moronic gropings or of the TSA in general, but the woman taking care of me was not a total bitch...unusual in PHL. I had donned my new one-piece jumpsuit so that there would be no fingers down my waistband. :) It worked like a dream, of course. I did not get the "resistance" talk, which disappointed me. I wanted to ask about that and ask if she'd be feeling my naughty bits. Anyhoo...

    My protein drinks were put into a magic machine and were cleared quickly.

    I was on my way.

    Dammit, I was looking for a fight and I didn't get one.
     
    nachtnebel and Cartoon Peril like this.
  2. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Before I stopped flying, I, too, had worked out a special outfit to prevent their grubby hands from molesting me. Unbelievable that we even have to think about this stuff.

    But as I just said to friends the other night, if anyone had claimed, a few years ago, that we would be allowing this to go on at airports, that it would, in fact, be standard operating procedure, no one would've believed it. Yet here we are.
     
    nachtnebel, barbell and Cartoon Peril like this.
  3. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    1) If the hands in the pants are essential for national security and
    2) All it takes to keep hands out of the pants is a one-piece jumpsuit, then
    3) One-piece jumpsuits are a threat to national security.
     
    lkkinetic and Lisa Simeone like this.
  4. snapstoo

    snapstoo Original Member

    Whaat?

    I can't wear my flight-suit? I'll be reduced to mere socks!
     
  5. honeytoes

    honeytoes Founding Member

    The only thing that the jumpsuit was a threat to was my appearance. I have lost a lot of weight since I bought the jumpsuit and it made me look homeless. At least there were no nasty hands touching my skin. (Oh, it was by BabyPhat, if anyone is looking for such an outfit.)

    I was actually a little surprised that they didn't ask me to pull down the top part of the jumpsuit since I had a t-shirt on underneath it.
     
  6. Doober

    Doober Original Member

    This would seem to be in line with other recent reports that TSA has cut back on the sexual assault as a result of the thousands of complaints and YouTube "pr."

    Did she touch your hair or face?
     
  7. honeytoes

    honeytoes Founding Member

    If she had touched my face, I'd have freaked on her and y'all would have seen me on the news. :) My hair was pulled into a tight bun, so there would have been nothing for her to feel. I did look a fright, though, since I had not put on makeup yet. Perhaps I was not appealing to her and there was no reason for her to get frisky with me? :td:

    I still think they're all freaks.
     
  8. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    http://www.queerty.com/i-was-felt-up-by-the-t-s-a-and-i-liked-it-20110606/
     
  9. Doober

    Doober Original Member

    From an e-mail I received last week:

     
  10. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Doober, yeah, this has been going around the intertubes for a while now. We all need humor, no matter how black.
     
  11. barbell

    barbell Coach Coach

    Oh, there are some who believed it, and even rejoice at its now-ubiquitous presence. :td:
     

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