Lawsuit Peanut butter-loving flier seeks $5 million from TSA worker and Port Authority cop for ... [LGA]

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Mike, Feb 8, 2013.

  1. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    TSA retard = Edwin Sanchez
    Dump cop = Spencer Newman

    The Queens DA declined to prosecute the case, but by then he'd spent 25 hours in jail being fed ... peanut butter sandwiches. :D

    New York Daily News: Peanut butter-loving flier seeks $5 million from TSA worker and Port Authority cop for putting him in sticky situation

    A former New Yorker is suing a TSA worker at LaGuardia Airport and a Port Authority cop for $5 million after they busted him for trying to bring a jar of Crazy Richard’s peanut butter on the plane. Frank Hannibal claims in a complaint filed in Brooklyn Federal Court that he wound up in the sticky situation when the screener noticed the layer of oil atop his gourmet peanut butter — and ordered him out of the line. They’re looking to confiscate my explosives,” Hannibal sarcastically told his wife and twin 6-year-old daughters, the court papers state. The TSA worker, identified in the papers as Edwin Sanchez, overheard Hannibal, apparently didn’t get the joke — and called the cops. Minutes later, Officer Spencer Newman slapped the cuffs on Hannibal and charged him with falsely reporting an incident, a felony.
    Elizabeth Conley likes this.
  2. Elizabeth Conley

    Elizabeth Conley Original Member

    We make our own peanut butter here at Casa Conley, so he has my sympathy. We're purists. We get it.
  3. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Esquire: The Peanut Butter That Launched a $5 Million Lawsuit

    Let's ignore the fact that a layer of oil is actually supposed to be there and focus on the notion that Hannibal went through 25 hours in the slammer and is now bringing a $5-million-dollar lawsuit against the TSA over a peanut butter that cost him $6.99.

    This is all wrong. Crazy Richard's is chump change. The peanut butter to sue over is this one: Standard Reference Material No. 2387.

    Basically, it's the perfect peanut butter, engineered to precision and accompanied by scientific documentation by the National Institute of Standards and Technology, an agency of the U.S. Department of Commerce. NIST apparently does exactly what its name says: create standards for common food products like peanut butter, ferrous and nonferrous metals, primary gas mixtures, and other nebulous science-speaky categories. For some reason, they have peanut butter, too, and it sells for about $220 for a 6-ounce jar, creamy.

    Crazy Richards' just doesn't seem worth the same effort.
  4. Caradoc

    Caradoc Original Member

    I wonder how the average TSA douche would react to a pound or so of Dilatant Compound 3179 in someone's carry-on.
  5. TSA News Blog

    TSA News Blog News Feed

    Good for him.​
    Though most of us can’t afford to bring suit agains this worthless agency, some people can.​
    Such as 50-year-old Frank Hannibal. He was jailed — yes, jailed — because he made a crack about the tin-badge tinpot tyrants trying to confiscate his Super Scary Terroristy Peanut Butter.​
    As usual, you can’t make this stuff up.
    “It sounds laughable now but at the time to be led out of there like a terrorist was unbelievable,” Hannibal tells the Daily News. “My whole life was up in the air. It was a nightmare. My children were overwhelmed. It was crazy.”
    But surely there’s more going on here than meets the eye? Surely our brave blue-shirted knights were onto something? Of course! They noticed a Scary Separation:
    Hannibal’s troubles began when a TSA agent questioned him about his jar of “Crazy Richard’s Natural Peanut Butter,” a spread sold at supermarkets across the country and marketed by Ohio’s Krema Products Company. Speaking to the paper, Hannibal says the TSA agent appeared confused by the natural separation of oil inside the jar of peanut butter, which retails typically at around $7 a pop.​
    “The liquid oil that separated from the peanut butter had them baffled,” he says.​
    Things only went south from there. Because remember: under no circumstances is humor allowed. Humor is dangerous! Humor helps The Terrorists! If you employ humor, you obviously Hate America!
    . . . instead of ditching the food or explaining the science behind preservation, Hannibal admits to cracking a joke when an agent analyzed the jar.​
    “They’re looking to confiscate my explosives,” Hannibal sarcastically told his wife and twin 6-year-old daughters, according to court papers obtained by the Daily News. But although the comment wasn’t met for anyone other than his family, Hannibal says it garnered the attention of a nearby agent.​
    Moments later, Hannibal was cuffed and on his way to a holding cell. There he spent 25 hours in lockup . . . .​
    Let’s see — how do you say in English? This country has lost its (expletive deleted) mind.
    Every person who defends the TSA and its abusive, moronic, certifiably insane procedures deserves what he gets. And I do hope he or she gets it.
    Righ on, Frank Hannibal. If you need a contribution to your legal defense fund, many of us are happy to help. As we did with Yukari Miyamae, Andrea Abbott, John Tyner, Carol Jean Price, and others.
  6. RB

    RB Founding Member

    Had to look it up.:D

    On the serious side I have a jar of DMSO. Wondering if TSA would confiscate it?
  7. Caradoc

    Caradoc Original Member

    At one time I was experimenting with layering silk, Kevlar, and other fabrics with varying Dilatant Compound mixtures to see if I could create a semi-flexible-and-yet-rigid-on-impact armor.

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