San Francisco Chronicle: How to have fun at the airport

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Mike, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Sounds like the lineup in a whorehouse ... maybe I should revise the TSA Hall of Shame so that "officers" still employed could list fees & services?

    San Francisco Chronicle: How to have fun at the airport

     
  2. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    Mike, you're sick...just SICK! :td:
     
  3. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    I'd just like to figure out how to run my internet hobby at a decent profit instead of a loss. Maybe I could get commissions on the transactions?
     
  4. Frank

    Frank Original Member

    If you're going to be groped/fondled at the airport, it may as well come with a happy ending...
     
  5. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    You are both sick, sick, sick!
     
  6. Elizabeth Conley

    Elizabeth Conley Original Member

    Rewriting the classics can be fun. I think much hay could be made of this classic, rewritten for TSA checkpoints:

     
  7. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Had never seen this before. Hilarious!
     
  8. Elizabeth Conley

    Elizabeth Conley Original Member

    It made the rounds a little over a decade ago, when e-mail forwarding was SOP.
     
  9. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    Yes, but it is scary, too. I don't ever want my boyfriend to see this because it sounds like some of the tricks he would try to pull to get out of going to Wally-World with me! :eek:
     
  10. FaustsAccountant

    FaustsAccountant Original Member

  11. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

  12. Sunny Goth

    Sunny Goth Original Member Coach

    But we wish we could.... ;)
     
  13. yautjalady

    yautjalady Original Member

    Elizabeth,

    I read your post and and am rofl at 1am.

    Ok, I'll start the tsa version rolling..... (done outside the security checkpoint)

    1. Apply glycerin containing substances such as lotion to bathroom knobs/ handles. Better yet, treat boxes o blue gloves before they're distributed.

    2. Put > 3.4 oz flat container of water into the grey bins. Or those flat blue ice paks.

    3. Ventriloquist the word "bravo" when the snake-chute is full.

    4. Alternative donation to bins are leaflets or business cards advertising the local gentleman's club.

    5. Wave and say 'hi, big sis' as you go by each security camera.

    6. If a SPOTnik starts following you, asking questions, either
    a) pretend you are deaf
    b) give them really dumb answers or longwinded responses
    c) string them along and then say omigosh, its TUESDAY??!!?? my flight isn't till THURSDAY
     
  14. yautjalady

    yautjalady Original Member

    (Moved 3.4 oz correction to above post; was on excruciatingly slow connection before...)
     
  15. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    The "Edit" link will help you make that change.
     
  16. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Please don't do or encourage anything that will cause people to have accidents. Messing with steps & rails -- anything that is there to walk on or assist people with their balance -- is not a good idea.

    Bathroom door handles, especially outside security -- great place for it, especially on the way OUT after they've washed their hands. :D
     
  17. yautjalady

    yautjalady Original Member

    Mike, thanks for pointing that out; I edited my posts.

    Hmmm, got me thinking, I wonder what glycerin-containing substances aren't slippery....
     
  18. 4nsicdoc

    4nsicdoc Original Member

    As an alternative, fill all the soap dispensers in the restrooms with liquid glycerine saddle soap, which is available online , or at fine leather goods shops everywhere. Although, that may be what the TSA has in mind when they mention "interfering with the process.."
     
  19. yautjalady

    yautjalady Original Member

    ROFL!

    Its right up to but not over that invisible line...

    But would really bollix things up.... just imagine EVERY swabber machine meter in EVERY lane pegging
     
  20. FaustsAccountant

    FaustsAccountant Original Member

    I can totally see the whole administration adding another zillion dollar machine staffed by 13 specially trained blue gloves as an added layer to address the extraordinary false positive results. :rolleyes:
     
    Lisa Simeone likes this.

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