The Airport Security Glossary

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by CelticWhisper, Jun 8, 2011.

  1. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    I refuse to use "TSO." They aren't officers. They love for people to think they are, they love to pretend they are, that's why they now wear those blue shirts and fake badges, but they're aren't officers and I refuse to refer to them that way.

    For 18 months I didn't use "goon," "thug," "smurf," or anything similiar -- I used neutral terms such as TSA "employee" or "agent" -- but now have started. I'm tired of according them respect that they don't accord us.
     
    barbell likes this.
  2. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    I love "goon," "thug," and "smurf," but I think "clerk" is my favourite. It doesn't gut-punch the way "fascist" or "goose-stepper" or "molester" do, but it has accuracy going for it and there's nothing they can say in refutation to it because it's true - their job classification is that of a government clerk. Takes the wind out of their sails and at the same time doesn't let them work up a proper RAEG because it's technically not a slight, it's just reminding them of the truth of their lowliness.
     
    barbell likes this.
  3. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Oooh, love that. Yes, "clerk" is good.
     
  4. barbell

    barbell Coach Coach

    I alternate between "clerk" and Airport Security Screener.
     
    DeafBlonde likes this.
  5. mikemey

    mikemey Original Member

    Might wanna replace this:
    With something more like this: Secretary of Homeland Security under King George the Inept. (King George the Dunderhead?)
     
  6. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    King George the HURRRRR DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
     
  7. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Should add ATR = Automated Target Recognition
     
  8. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

  9. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    1. Chertoffomizer. (a) all nude-o-scopes (b) the backscatter x-ray nude-o-scope
    2. Junkatron. All nude-o-scopes (syn. Chertoffomizer, meaning a).
    3. Wiener screener. Some who operates a chertoffomizer or a junkatron.
    4. Schlong gong. What goes off when the Junkatron or the Chertoffomizer detects an "anomaly".
    5. -MD. Combining form in abbreviations, stands for Mass Destruction. See, e.g. UBMD (Underwire Brassiere of Mass Destruction),
     
  10. KrazyKat

    KrazyKat Original Member

  11. darwin76

    darwin76 Original Member

    Gropenfuhrer - the chief of the TSA.
     
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  12. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Mein Gott, I love this!!

    And I've long thought the "Grim Groper" was apropos.
     
  13. darwin76

    darwin76 Original Member

    I suggested on TS&S that we begin calling them all "comrade [name]" to start getting in their heads, and let them know they weren't one of us - that it had become us and them, just like in repressive communist nations.

    That thread was promptly vaporized.
     
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  14. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Let's get those umlauts down: Gropenf├╝hrer :)
     
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  15. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    The moderators "over there" (we try not to dignify it with its name) are convinced that that their only problem is one of organization, hence the one-week closing for "reorganization" while they blindly shuffled a few thousand threads around. They are completely blind to fact that excess moderation has been driving users out in droves for the last 4 months. When pressed they will give you the usually mumbo jumbo about moderators having full-time jobs, yadayadayada, but the simple fact of the matter is that two of three primary mods "over there" were not employed. Once has been retired as long as I've known him and the other has been unemployed for several years. Moderation has become their preoccupation and way of life and an end in itself. Both are exceptionally nice people, but they need to find something constructive and productive to do with their lives.
     
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  16. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    I would like to propose a new entry -- you all decide which abbreviation it should be:

    B.M. or B.R.M.

    "Before Molestation" or "Before the Reign of Molestation."

    I am, obviously, going for an analogue to "B.C." and "A.D." So in that sense, two letters would be better. But I think BRM gets the point across more accurately.

    Anyway, y'all can choose.
     
  17. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    BRM (Before Reign of Molestation) and RM (Reign of Molestation) work just like BCE (Before Common Era) and CE (Common Era) do, we could go with that.

    I mean, as long as it never gets followed up by "-rf /" the UNIX users visiting us shouldn't feel picked on.
     
  18. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    Oh, wow, I never understood what BCE stood for. When I was growing up it was B.C. ("before Christ") and A.D. ("Anno Domini"). Then, somewhere in the late '80s or early '90s, can't remember now, I started noticing BCE, which I thought was maybe "Before the Christian Era." Thanks for clearing that up.
     
  19. mikemey

    mikemey Original Member

    I really like this one.
     
  20. barbell

    barbell Coach Coach

    It was changed to recognize that not everyone cares what happened "Before Christ". You may notice that AD (anno domino - "In the Year of Our Lord") has become (less commonly, though) ACE, or "After the Common Era." They still use the same date as the cutoff, though stopped using the "messy" Christ reference.
     

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