"Trusted Traveler" questionnaire leaked!

Discussion in 'What's On Your Mind?' started by Cartoon Peril, Aug 16, 2011.

  1. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    I have it on reliable authority that TSA will be passing out this questionnaire to applicants for the Trusted Traveler program.

    1. Can you afford your own private jet?
    [ ] Yes (skip the rest and get your own dang aircraft!)
    [ ] No
    [ ] I use a personal jet pack so this is not relevant to me.

    2. Complete the following: John Pistole is:
    [ ] a skunk
    [ ] Michael Chertoff's poodle
    [ ] an alien replicant from beyond the moon
    [ ] the savior of America sent to earth from the planet Krypton by his father Jor-El.

    3. What scientific method should TSA adopt to screen passengers?
    [ ] Phrenology
    [ ] Graphology
    [ ] Ufology
    [ ] All of the above (Please pick up a job application on the way out!)

    4. Which of the following is appropriate identification at the airport?
    [ ] Library card
    [ ] Driver's license.
    [ ] Passport
    [ ] A get-out-of-jail-free card from a Monopoly set.

    5. Do you commonly wear any metallic clothing?
    [ ] Yes, I am Sir Galahad (the Chaste!)
    [ ] Yes, I am the Tin Woodman.
    [ ] Yes, I am R2D2.
    [ ] Yes, but only if you count an Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.

    6. What is the greatest threat to aircraft?
    [ ] A snow globe that isn't bought at the airport gift shop.
    [ ] Wallets full of unreasonable amounts of money.
    [ ] Insulin used by pregnant women
    [ ] Bombs and guns that get through while TSA is intercepting the previous three.

    7. What is the best way to insure passenger cooperation with security?
    [ ] Treat everyone with respect.
    [ ] Treat everyone like a criminal.
    [ ] Treat everyone like cattle.
    [ ] Treat everyone like a cattle-rustling criminal.

    8. The Constitution is:
    [ ] The terrorist's best friend.
    [ ] I don't know, but whatever it was, 9/11 ended it.
    [ ] Something that doesn't matter much to me as long as I get on that aircraft.
    [ ] Constitution? We don't need no steekin' constitution!
  2. nachtnebel

    nachtnebel Original Member

    did you come up with this? this is really funny.
  3. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    Not quite sure ;-)
  4. Elizabeth Conley

    Elizabeth Conley Original Member

  5. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    :D Thanks, Cartoon, you have made my day! ROFLAO!
  6. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Applies here, too. I appreciate that people find it humorous, but it makes it harder for people to find real information about what's going on.
    Cartoon Peril likes this.
  7. Cartoon Peril

    Cartoon Peril Original Member

    Sorry, but I did try to sneak in a bit of BDO news there ;-)

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