TSA at Dulles Offended By "Penis"

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by FliesWay2Much, Oct 1, 2012.

  1. FliesWay2Much

    FliesWay2Much Original Member

    Sitting on the plane now. Suit threatened to call the cops on me when I repeatedly asked several clerks if resistance meant he was going to touch my penis. I took names and the suit's business card, which I will post when I get back so you can express your opinions directly to him.

    The final straw was when he said he was just doing his job at his airport. I looked him right in the eye, pointed at him and said, "This airport belongs to the people of the United States of America and don't you EVER forget that."
  2. LeeAnne

    LeeAnne Original Member

    This reminds me of when I was being sexually molested at LAX last July. I kept telling the woman to stop touching my vagina. She got all pissed off and kept saying "You can't use that word, there are kids in that line!" I replied, "Stop touching it and I'll stop saying it!"

    I will never understand the bizarre TSA aversion to using the actual names of body parts. Well, that's not true...actually I do understand it. It's quite deliberate, using the same concept as "Newspeak" in George Orwell's 1984: control people's thoughts through language. If you keep calling it "resistance", and never use the actual words for the body parts you are touching (penis, vagina, labia, anus) then you can claim you are NOT touching those things. You are only touching "resistance", which nobody should have any objection to, right? Because we all know that even THINKING that the TSA are a bunch of thuggish (expletive deleted) is a thoughcrime!
  3. TravelnMedic

    TravelnMedic Original Member

    I would have invoked godwin just for effect.

    It must be in the TSA brainwashing/training, but then again if travelers actually got them to use the anatomically correct names then it would be a clear admission of guilt that could be
  4. Fisher1949

    Fisher1949 Original Member Coach

    You should write this up, with names, and send to TSA News or Alex Jones (Infowars). Drudge picks up a lot of the TSA stuff from Infowars so there's a chance this could get national coverage if it hits.
  5. RB

    RB Founding Member

    Would be tempted to ask them what they call a penis. Then give a few suggestions.
    • Dick
    • Cock
    • Wiener
    • Pecker
    • Boner
    • Hard on
    • Thing
    • Piece
    • Member
    • Tool
    • Package
    • Unit
    • Shaft
    • It
    • Doinker
    • Prick
    • Cack
    • Choad
    • Chub
    • Pud
    • Schlong
    • Wankie
    • Dong
    • Wang
    • Ding a ling
    • Ding dong
    • Long dong
    • 100% all-beef thermometer
    • Kielbasa
    • Bratwurst
    • Meat Popsicle
    • Big Italian salami
    • Meat thermometer
    • Bologna pony
    • Salami
    • Sausage
    • Tube steak
    • Weenie
    • Pork sword
    • Noodle
    • Banana
    • Stinky pickle
    • Corn dog
    • Magic wand
    • Staff
    • Divine Rod
    • Magic mushroom tip
    • Love muscle
    • Love shaft
    • Love stick
    • Baby maker
    • Main vein
    • Middle leg
    • Third leg
    • Baby arm
    • Main vein
    • Middle leg
    • Third leg
    and there are many more: NSFW

  6. TravelnMedic

    TravelnMedic Original Member

    RB - Dang Thats straight out of Varisty Blue

  7. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    Gee, I can only think of a few for the female...help me out here, y'all..
    • Hoo-ha
    • Muff
    • Pussy
    • Box
    (Of course, I have lived a very sheltered life ;))
  8. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    You forgot "Johnson".
  9. DeafBlonde

    DeafBlonde Original Member

    He forgot "Willie," too.
  10. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    And if you're the former governor of Minnesota (not the Body, who I believe is a eunuch), Willie's real name was Oscar.
  11. Frank

    Frank Original Member

  12. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    And don't forget that we have "official" TUG Johnson & Hoo-Hah t-shirt, proceeds to the ACLU if people ever order enough (I've never gone back & checked).
  13. RB

    RB Founding Member

    Not forgotten, just not included.
  14. RB

    RB Founding Member

  15. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Reminds me of George Carlin's sub-routine on "Two-way words," words you can slip in past the censors if you're clever enough.

    "We're going to snatch that pussy, put him in a box, and take him on the airplane!"
  16. Caradoc

    Caradoc Original Member

    "Well, you can prick your finger, but..."
  17. Monica47

    Monica47 Original Member

  18. RB

    RB Founding Member

  19. jtodd

    jtodd Original Member

    Looking forward to the name and email.
  20. RB

    RB Founding Member

    The TSA Suit must have been a real "TOOL".
    TravelnMedic likes this.

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