TSA saves money by sharing mass-alert system with Coast Guard

Discussion in 'Aviation Passenger Security in the USA' started by Mike, Jan 24, 2012.

  1. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Is Pissy now suffering from delusions of military grandeur, ready to mobilize his force of highly-trained gropers to respond to emergencies?

    Urgent Communications (24 Jan 2012): TSA saves money by sharing mass-alert system with Coast Guard (with related video)

    To what end? I can't see any useful purpose for being able to mobilize TSA's legions of overweight, ill-mannered, barking thugs.
  2. Lisa Simeone

    Lisa Simeone Original Member

    More money for the "security" industry, coming out of our pockets.

    When the TSA's VIPR teams start slithering into yet more ports and onto more boats and ferries, then they'll be able to use this highly sophisticated "product" (love that that's how it's referred to in that article).
  3. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    But why do they need an alert system? They're not fit to respond to any real emergency.

    If the banks of the river are overflowing, how many sandbags can the average fat smurf fill? Or will they just show up to grope the other volunteers?
    FaustsAccountant and barbell like this.
  4. CelticWhisper

    CelticWhisper Founding Member

    Wrong question. Should be, how many fat smurfs will have to be piled up to keep the water at bay?
  5. Mike

    Mike Founding Member Coach

    Can't be done. Given their typical BMI it would a floating dike.
    barbell likes this.
  6. Caradoc

    Caradoc Original Member

    But with a rope around their ankles, they'd make effective pier bumpers... Once, anyway.
  7. N965VJ

    N965VJ Original Member

    Great. So when a screener in LAX hollers BRAVO, everyone in CLE has to freeze? :rolleyes:
  8. FaustsAccountant

    FaustsAccountant Original Member

    More like when the Coast Guard pulls someone out of a shipwreck, the TSA can quickly be there to search their crotch to make it's safe for the medics. (and see if the survivors have anything worth stealing-er...involuntarily surrender.)
  9. JoeBas

    JoeBas Original Member

    This likely stems from the Costa Concordia incident.

    If a boat sailing outside of US waters were to have an accident, we'd need an EMERGENCY DEPLOYMENT of all trained and available smurfs to go and check the survivors as they wash up on the coast, to make sure they're not up to anything nefarious.

    If it's good enough for Train Travelers in Savannah to be checked at the end of their trip, then by-god we can check anyone.
    Lisa Simeone likes this.
  10. TravelnMedic

    TravelnMedic Original Member

    ...and I'll keep on walking playing deaf. I dare them to touch me; it will be a grave mistake.

    On a different note: they have been testing the emergency alert system for disaster assistance teams. Glad I got a heads up from the team commander(s) & AO as the voicemail was cryptic as (expletive deleted)

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